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Bobby and I and what happened. Chapter 5: The Park |
I saw Bobby often, we went for walks in the park
and had coffee together, but I saw Bobby as masculine as Bobby was now
mostly dressed in leather trousers and tee shirt.
  We
often had quarrels where I would walk off in a temper and Bobby would
reappear after I had cooled down. Now I realise that the reason was
that she was angry because I saw her as masculine. But I couldn’t understand
it. I was surrounded by gay men who said they wore drag, but Bobby said
that the masculine clothes were the drag. (New
thoughts about drag and drab, and heterosexual). Bobby was the first transsexual
and the first crossdresser I had ever met. And everything now was opposite
to the gay way of thinking. Are you gay? I asked her. No, she said,
I’m heterosexual. Perhaps you’re bisexual? No, definitely not, she said,
I’m heterosexual. (New thoughts about drag
and drab, and heterosexual).One would think that I had got the message by then,
but I didn’t, I just thought she was being anarchic because people were
mixing up gender definition all the time. When I felt down Bobby was
always there holding my hand, and was always there in the background
keeping an eye on me at parties. She was my ally, my best friend. But
what Bobby became expert at was manoeuvres.
  When
we were together she manoeuvred the situation so that I always kissed
her and that allowed her to kiss me back. I had many sweet kisses from
Bobby, and I can say now that my relationship with her was feminine,
a relationship which I shall always cherish. Are you going my way? she
would say. No, I replied, I’m going this way, and you’re going that
way, pointing in the opposite direction. Can I walk you back home? she
said. No, I said, I’m quite capable of walking home on my own. Why aren’t
you in the party? there are lots of good looking men in there, I said
to Bobby. They are boring, said Bobby, I’d rather walk with you. All
right then, I said. What are you doing tomorrow? said Bobby to me. I’m
going to the park in the morning. Why are you going to the park? she
said. Why do you think I’m going to the park? I’m going to look at the
trees and flowers and feed the ducks. Can I come? said Bobby. No, I
replied, still angry from our last fight. Why not, said Bobby, I’d like
to feed the ducks as well. All right then, I said. What time shall I
meet you then? she said, always on the ball.
Chapter 6: Quarrel with Bobby |
| Pictures: Kensington Gardens |
| Contents How I found out. 1 London W11 in the 70s. 1 |
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